True Story: Today I found a mold garden growing behind my dresser drawers (soooo sanitary, I know). So obviously I got the bleach out to rid of that bitch. For some reason or another (I blame being loopy from the mass amounts of Sudaffed) I decided it would be a good idea to NOT put the lid on the bleach and instead just place the open bottle on top of the dresser drawers. However, I should have thought twice before doing this because as of lately I have pretty much been living by the motto "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong"... Side Note: That's Murphy's Law for those of you who don't know. Anyways, back to everything going wrong... So as I am cleaning off this horrifically disgusting green goblin attached to my wall, a spider suddenly emerges out of an Ugg boot in my closet. Out of disgust I jumped, resulting in me kicking my dresser drawer over and spilling bleach all over the floor and somehow on my bed sheets, and even reaching my pillows. Apparently bleach can fly. Who knew?
The only real way to describe this situation is as being "So Ku"... I know everyone says "OMG, this would like seriously only happen to ME." But I think it is time to change that term to "OMG, this would like seriously only happen to Ku."
Lots of So Ku things have been happening lately though. I think it falls in line somewhere with all of the birds dropping dead from the sky, and all those fish dying and washing up on shore. I mean, it's apocalyptic. This weekend I got about 212 (rough guesstimate) bright red, fugly bug bites on my legs and back while I was in the lovely town of hickville Chico. So not only did I walk around Chico looking like I had backne (someone give this girl some damn proactiv) but I also managed to simultaneously have what may or may not have been a terminal illness (otherwise known as the common cold)... Of course, in this mentally and physically weakened state I also managed to run into my arch enemy at a long awaited gathering of friends in Chico, lets call this arch enemy Helga Poopface for the sake of keeping things anonymous. So, I spent my much anticipated night avoiding Helga Poopface, while battling backne bites, and blowing my nose every 1.5 seconds. BEST WEEKEND EVER.
Now, in all reality I know these are by far the dumbest, most miniscule problems ever. So that is why I have been having a hard time calling them "problems" at all... Which is why I so desperately needed to come up with a new term for this crap. I am officially renaming petty bullshit as "soku's" combining 'so' and 'ku' together for that whole edgy literary effect... So please, all seven of you blog followers, next time you fart in class and everyone hears it, or your dog decides your foot looks like a nice place to take a piss, or worst of all you come in contact with your very own Helga Poopface.. remember these aren't problems at all, they are simply sokus.
post script: Ku is my nickname.
post-post script: if you didn't know that already you just added another soku to my list of sokus.
